Life or Deaf

Ah. CCR. One of my favorite nighttime addictions. Kids in the Hall, singles hotline infomercials, and CCR ruled the Vegas airwaves after-hours. And I miss them all.

Nice blog, RDT. I didn't realize you like pork so much. Do you like pork rinds? How about pet projects that senators get funded for their rich friends back home? Just curious.

There is only one thing I can't live without. And that thing is seaweed. I once went a whole week without eating seaweed. No seaweed and tomato sandwiches. No seaweed espressos. And no seaweed-flavored chewing gum. And at the end of that week, I died. Just keeled over and perished. Right in front of about one hundred people. Why was I in front of 100 people? I was about to give my acceptance speech at the Poets of Vegas Academy Awards and Bake Sale. I won "best poem by an albino" for my beautiful sonnet "Yes, I Admit It." Everyone was there. Harry Bush. That math teacher from Woodbury's son. Sylvester Stallone's brother Frank. Sam Donaldson. And of course, my parents' attorney.

Anyway, there was I was, under the bright neon of the Boardwalk, an anxious crowd eagerly awaiting to be enlightened by the speech I plagiarized from an old episode of It's a Living, when all of a sudden, BAM! I'm on the floor, in the process of falling crushing to death that monkey that collected quarters. My pulse was 0. My heart stopped beating. My fingernails continued to grow. In other words, I was toast.

Thank goodness all the poets in Vegas know CPR. 42 of the finest rhymers in SoNev brought me back to life, not with life-saving CPR maneuvers, but with their collective body odor, which would resuscitate the deadest of dead people.

So yes, I literally can't live without seaweed.

I suppose it's my turn to ask you a question. Here it is: Who is Tabo? He randomly comments on our blog, and quite frankly he's starting to scare me. Is he a friend of yours? Is he really a watercolor? Does he eat seaweed?