Remember what that chick from Poltergeist kept saying?

My dear, dear friend. You succeeded in posting the most amazing post of all time. Is it any wonder it took me nine years to reply? How can I follow that? Now I know how the headliner felt after warm-up act Allen Stewart Königsberg left the stage.

I concur with everything you said. Tabo is one mysterious punk. But to paraphrase our main man Neil Young, "I believe in (him)."

You know what would be whack? If he went to my ward and was married to a woman named Kristen and had a baby named after a Jane Austin novel and had a rabid pet badger with a scimitar tied to its tail, which I would love to be attacked by.

Sorry non-Vegas natives, if any truly exist, but I have to make a Fashion Show Mall reference. D-Love, remember the Centaur Gallery? I remember cruising by that crazy place on my way to "don't bother looking for anything not written by Tom Clancy or Danielle Steele" Waldenbooks (the pond would have a fit if it knew its name was used in vain), after having consumed a heart attack on a stick and having drank an orange julius irving, and just getting the creeps. There was always a painting of a buff blond dude standing beside various unicorn-like creatures in a universe that was not warmed by the sun, rather, it was warmed by a blue light. I often wondered who the heck bought that crazy art.

And then I met Chanel. She's got a storage unit full of those paintings.

Anyway, scimitar made me think of Centaur.

And I would much rather be attacked by a badger than a human, because badgers can't sue.

Here's a question for you, my friend. Who would be a better fit for lieutenant governor of the land of Centaur, Julio the Gardener or the Bird? It's a tough (and stupid) question, so I will allow you 24 hours to respond. Starting. Right. Now.

Postscript - I'm sorry about your boys going down in 4. LeBron truly fascinates me. Maybe next year.